lots has happened since last time i wrote. much that needs to be recorded. and will be. in december when i have a break from school. but something just happened that absolutely stopped me in my tracks and needs to be recorded on earth and in heaven. i need to stop and acknowledge God and heaven.
a few weeks ago our friend, bud nebeker, lost his job. again. second time in a year. his wife, jen, is a great friend of mine. devan and i love bud and jen dearly. they are good people. they are worker bees as my mom would say. jen is holding up well, but mentioned the other day in passing that they are surviving on a $50 a week food budget. $50. in san francisco in 2012. we can hardly get by on $150. now, they have two kids, but still. it was an indication to me that they are struggling quite severely.
a few days later as i was in safeway i felt an impression strongly to buy them a gift card and send it to them. i bought it and put it in an envelope. and then i hesitated to send it because we are not in the position to be giving away money ourselves. we are fine, but with me in school our budget is down to the penney -- and frankly, we've been robbing peter to pay paul for the last month just to make it all work out in the end. but i thought on how merciful God has always, always been with our family when it comes to money. and the truth is in my heart i want to give all that i can to others. i give our money away every chance i get so i don't ever covet it so much that i become unwilling to share it. and the other truth is that we have been given more than we need. where two can eat, four can eat as well. i know that the more we give, the more we receive. so i sent it thinking that it was the right thing to do and that we'd figure out how to make up the difference, even if it was with student loan money. and out of my brain it went.
in fact, i had no intention of telling devan that i did it. i still haven't. and i didn't put our name on the envelope. it wasn't money from us, it was from God. and i didn't want to claim it as mine. my plan was to forget it and never mention it again. and then today, right this minute, i'm doing our bills and calculating ahead for the rest of the year and lo and behold i realize that there is an extra pay day in november that we weren't counting on. now this occurred because devan's company moved their pay day from tuesdays to fridays thereby giving us an additional month with three paydays. unbelievable. as it dawned on me the thought came into my head that God, indeed, knows us and has our needs covered. i tell you i want to shout it from the rooftops about just how good God is and how mindful He is of us. how He blesses us for our willingness to let go of our fear, our worry, our money and just share with others. HE IS AMAZING!!!
and since i don't want to ruin this most amazing gift of seeing His hand once again in our lives so clearly and so obviously i thought i'd write this down here instead of blabbing about it from the pulpit. sacred things remain sacred when we treat them as such. this is a sacred gift... the money for certain, but more importantly the witness of God's hand moving on our behalf.
it makes me want to give away more money just to watch another miracle happen again.
exercise your faith beyond what you feel you can really do. that is when you begin to see the true amazingness of God. that is how you literally unlock the powers of heaven in behalf of your family, your children, your neighbors, yourself even. going beyond what i feel comfortable doing is where i have found the true joy in life and where i have cemented myself to God and Him to me.
if God had shown up on my door step today i couldn't say that i would have seen him any more than i did when i looked at the calendar and felt His Spirit witness in my heart that we were the recipients of His great mercy.
i did see God today.
No comments:
Post a Comment